Hexagonal Areas of Life (part II)

(continuation of part I)


Friends

Friends as they say are single soul dwelling in two bodies. Friends, though there are variations on the side, are basically just a reflection of the person within you. Next to your family, friends are the people who know, readily understand and accept the real you. They are the ones who know, sometimes better than your family, what to do when you’re throwing your usual childish feat, which restaurant to bring you to when you’re depressed, or even what ice cream flavor to buy whenever you’re crying because your crush didn’t notice you when you passed each other in the hall.

I once read from a book that the number of friends one had collected in one’s lifetime is the better measure of one’s life. It sounds so sentimental but it’s true. Never mind the number of awards you received for being the top student or being the employee of the month. Never mind the number of zeros in your salary or the number of business you own. Because when it comes to numbers, it is the number of friends who will like your status on Facebook, of friends who remember your birthday, of friends who will appear on your first salary lunch treat, on your promotion dinner treat, on your wedding day, on the Christening of your first-born, on (lets go to the extreme) your funeral, that matters the most.

Every now and then, I go and unclutter the pile of letters I’ve managed to collect from my friends throughout my elementary to high school to college years. They are such a fun read. Some make me smile, some cry, but most of them make me crack in laughter. My friends, at least my close friends know that a gift for me is not a gift unless there’s a card or hand-written letter. The words of my friends are treasure to me.

How: Make friends. Be careful in choosing the right ones though. Be a true friend. Savor every moment you have with them. Have fun. Laugh together, cry together. Be a true friend to them and let them be your true friend. You know how even true friends sometimes go separate ways, right? They just literally go separate ways but it doesn’t mean you have to let them go. Stay in touch with them. Meet new friends. Don’t forget the old ones though. Add them all up. Treasure them.

Career

This simply means doing what you need to do, may it be studying or working. Whatever you’re doing: easy, average or difficult tasks, for fun, for passion’s sake or for some childhood dreams, towards short-term or long-term goals, the key is to always give your 101%. It feels good to accomplish the things you need to accomplish. But nothing feels better than knowing that you did your best to finish them.

Who among us still remembers the answer he/she has given to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s a question that seemed to be a requirement for a complete childhood. In fact, that’s the beginning of it all. That particular moment when we encountered the question is also the moment we started to build our dreams as a child. It’s the period in our lives when we were only starting to learn our ABCs but were already demanded to decide what we want to be in the farthest future. As time passes, we learn more about the world, what we are, what we want, and what we truly want to become. Some of us realize that being a doctor is not really what we want because we are afraid of injections. Others stand by their childhood dreams of becoming engineers or lawyers or pilots. But whatever they are, childhood dreams, adolescence dreams, or middle age dreams (if there are ever such terms), those dreams we created for ourselves are what keep us going. They are, as a matter of fact, the reasons we even dared started the fight.

How: Dream and keep dreaming. Don’t let go. Instead, run towards fulfilling them. If you’re studying, study hard. If you’re working, work hard. Focus. Focus. Focus. Always do your best. In trying to achieve something, you’ll encounter hardships and difficulties. You don’t expect success to be handed to you on a platter after all. It may take years especially when you’re dreaming to becoming, for example, a doctor or a lawyer (like me), but that’s life (or should I say the law of the degree? hehe) Bottom-line: Don’t give-up. Do your best! And yeah, I'm not only talking about pursuing a professional career here. In your daily life, do the things that will make you happy. Sing, dance, read, write, draw, paint, sew, plant, whatever they are, do the things that will give you fulfillment as an individual.

Lovelife. Inspiration

Err. Okay. I’ve been thinking really hard if I should mention this area. Some people may find it contradicting to what I’m trying to impress upon by the one area just mentioned right before this. However, as it is originally part of the hexagonal areas of life I’ve been talking about, I figured I should. Besides, who said it’s contradicting to the goal of pursuing your career? The “Choose! Love or Career?” only happens in movies. Okay, perhaps it really happens in real life. But what I’m trying to say is, as humans we are also in need of someone… who can serve as an inspiration for example, right? Yes! That must be it. Maybe we should just call it “inspiration” for now.

How: Crush, happy crush, whatever variations in names there are, look for someone who will give you some inspiration in life. Fall in love. Allow them to love you back. However, if you’ll personally ask me, I would suggest to not to give much focus on this YET. Not yet, not now. Here’s why I think so:

They call it destiny, one true love, soulmate. Whatever it is, yes I believe in such things like any hopeless romantics I know. I personally believe that in this complex world of ours, there is one person destined for each of us. Who he/she is, when the two of you will meet, how and where, only God knows. Only time can tell. It will come. Eventually, the two of you will meet. But for now, focus on the things you need to do. And what are these things? I pointed them out already – the first five areas. Know God, build a strong relationship with your loved ones, know your mission. Do these things first. Well I’m not saying that you have to be blind and ignore the “signs”. Of course you also have to stay on the lookout. But the thing is when it comes, you will know. You need not desperately search for it. I believe that when the right one comes, it will show itself to you right in front of your eyes. How will you know if it’s the right one? You need not know, you just have to feel it. Okay, I know I’m being somewhat or too idealistic and hopeless here. But that what I believe things, I mean love, works. But it is still up to you. As I’ve said, it’s okay to have someone you can admire, someone who can be an inspiration for you to do and be better. Just make sure it does you more good than bad. Make sure it’s not a waste of time. To quote from one of my favorite books, “Right love at the wrong time, is a wrong love.” Always choose the things that will make you happy.

......

Contentment, I realized, is a state of mind and a kind of feeling rather than a kind and quality of life. It means being happy with the way things are and with the way things are going. There’s no step-by-step way on how to achieve contentment. As you have read, I for myself have created a list of areas which I value the most in my life. They are, however, not procedures but just a simple guide I used to help me realize the things I should be happy and contented about. I’d say I’m contented when I feel happy or when I feel I’m doing well on those areas. The “hows” I included in each area are also not some sorts of techniques to achieve contentment.  Rather, they are some suggestions on how to live and do well in each area, which I’m also trying to achieve and follow all the time. But as for the whole idea of contentment, as I have said, it’s a state of mind. No special formula is needed. It is the same as happiness. Contentment and happiness is a choice. It’s a decision, actually. Its either you are or you are not. In fact, there are no varying degrees for it.

I suggest that you ask yourself this question once in a while. Know where your contentment comes from. Know how contented you really are because you already have everything you truly need. Contentment does not excuse you to do better. More than anything, it makes you realize how blessed you always are.

How

  

billet-doux. love letter.

6/4/2011 4:10pm

"How do you say goodbye to someone who never came?

How do you wait for someone who will never come?"

Hexagonal Areas of Life (part I)

What does being contented means?

This is what I've been asking myself lately. I dunno, maybe because of the lack of things to do in the midst of a hot summer. Maybe out of boredom. Or maybe because I would like to think that I’m not being a total slacker so I’m asking philosophical question such as this.

And in trying to answer this question, I found myself looking at the things I value the most. Every time I feel that the world seems acting a bit unfair, I just check on my self-made list of the six important areas of my life. Finding myself doing alright in every area makes me understand that life, though a bit naughty sometimes, has never really been unfair. It may never gave me everything, but it never gave me nothing. Then I feel contented.

To tell you more, here’s where I realize my contentment – from my hexagonal areas of life:

God

Putting God first in your life is the key to having a happy and contented life, that’s what I decided. But I confess it’s not easy. And me saying it’s not easy may sound a bit ridiculous, I know. But it’s because what I’m saying is more than believing that there’s God, more than hoping that someone will make your prayer happen. Rather, it is knowing God and what His purpose in your life is. It is you trusting everything, including your life itself unto Him. It is letting Him own you. All these take time and effort. But once you let Him into your heart, He will never leave you. You will feel His presence even more, every day. And when this happens, whatever it is that you will encounter in your life, you will always feel contented in His bracing arms.

How: I can’t give a step-by-step procedure on how this all works. It’s your faith after all. But you can start by saying a small prayer, right now. Make it simple but make sure it comes from the heart. Tell Him to own you. Let Him come to your heart. Trust everything unto Him. Say Thank you. That’s just about it. And every day, give yourself an hour or two of silence. Talk to Him. It would be better if you can find a church or a group that can help you build a strong relationship with God. Do Bible studies with friends. Just let your faith take you to His warm embrace. God is within you. God loves you. He is the ultimate source of contentment.

Faith vs. Religion

Since we’re on the topic, I would like to add on some points. As you can see, what I wrote above is ‘God’ and not ‘religion’. Simply because, they are two different things. Though I am not ignoring the importance of religion, I still believe that faith in God is more than being a member of a certain religion. For clarification’s sake, I am a Catholic. However, I am afraid that I am not a devout one in the strictest sense of the word. Being a devout Catholic means (as a common example) being able to go to church every Sunday of the week, which I apologetically sometimes failed to do so. I sometimes, though most of the time unaware of it, mess up with some of the teachings. And truthfully, I don’t easily go and agree with the opinions of the Catholic Church on certain things. RH bill, for example.  

For 2 years, I’ve been attending Christian bible studies. I’ve also attended some Christian prayer meetings and gatherings, one of which is with the Korean Christian community. If you’ll look at it, Catholic is within the realm of Christian faith. Hence, Catholic Christian. But most people would consider the two as different kinds of religion. For even a conservative Catholic like me, however, they are one and the same. The different religions may vary in their beliefs, but they only have the same faith.

They say that going to church and attending mass does not necessarily make you a real Catholic. Just the same, being in a certain religion does not suggest that you have an automatically good relationship with God. It does not remove you from the task of making efforts to constantly communicate and build a strong relationship with Him.

While I’m doing my responsibility as a member of the Catholic Church, I believe, as I have said, that faith in God is more than being a member of a certain religion. For as long as I know my faith, I would not have to be afraid.

Family

Before anything else, I would like to say that this does not include any notion or statement regarding the ideal kind and quality of household one is in. I believe that whatever kind and quality of family one has, big or small, with parents living together or are separated, rich or poor, etc. one can still achieve contentment in this area of one’s life.

Some people may be wishing if only they could have a different family from what they have now. For what reasons? Wealth most of the time. But as I have said, I’m not here to talk about the standard of life, but the essence of the family itself. What could be better than seeing every members of your family living a happy and healthy life? Nothing. For me, it is the safety and happiness of my family that I pray for the most every day. I know that many of us consider our own families to be the most important people in our lives, after God, before ourselves. Simply because, they are our family.

How: Tell them you love them every moment that you can. But for some of you who are not that comfortable with verbal showcase of affection or are just plain timid like me, why not use some real time actions? They speak louder than words after all. Show your family how much you love them in your own, even, little ways. Study hard and get good grades. Show respect to your parents. Avoid your habitual petty quarrels with your siblings. There are just so many things you could do. Enjoy every moment with your family. Treasure them. Love them.

You

Ever heard of the saying, “No one will love you unless you love yourself”? Or is it, “You can’t learn to love others unless you love yourself first”? Ah! Whichever. The point is you have to love yourself. Contentment is a state of mind, a kind of feeling, a state of being. Contentment springs from within. A genuine contentment starts with being contented with yourself.

Loving one’s self is not easy. Many people find this hard. The key is to know, understand and accept the kind of person you are. Ah yes, insecurities! They are the top 1 hindrance to loving yourself. But remember, every people have one, or two, or three…buckets of insecurities. I too have a fair share of them, more than fair actually. But I’m not the kind of an insecure person who will shout to the world that I DON’T HAVE ANKLES!!! Yes that’s true. The point is: don’t let your insecurities drown you over. Focus on what’s good about you. You have to understand that you are special… just the way you are.

How: You might want to discuss your insecurities with yourself. What about them? You might want to consider to find the good points of your “insecurities” and realize that you don’t really need to be insecured after all. Make yourself better. Just remember to make and do it for yourself and not for other people. Be beautiful. Feel beautiful. Act and think beautiful. Do what you need to do. Do what you want to do. Always choose to be happy. Yes! That’s the other important thing you must remember: be happy. Happiness is a choice. Do the things that would make you happy.

(to be continued...)