Square one

billet-doux. love letter.

3/18/2011 8:36pm

 

I don’t know what’s gotten into me that I suddenly remember it.

It’s the sign that I asked for, to my surprise, exactly one month ago.

Back then, I wrote:

I told myself I should not ask for more.

I decided to be contended for what we have so far…friendship.

But then again, I can’t blame myself for keeping the hopes I have kept inside.

And that’s where I made my mistake.

I shouldn’t have.

Back then, I thought:

“I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale. I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around.”

That was the back-story.

And? It didn’t happen.

Something, however, did. Close but not quite. But it didn’t happen.

It’s over.

That’s what I thought.

But we’re actually back to where we were before.

And I’m happy because it’s better now.

Though sometimes, I still wonder where we’re really going.

……

How I wished you would tell me.

Because I’m still here pondering if I really am your princess and if this can still be a fairytale.

I wonder if you would really sweep me off my feet and whether you would lead me up the stairwell.

How I wished you would let me dream once more.

But I hope this time without letting me down...yet again.