How

  

billet-doux. love letter.

6/4/2011 4:10pm

"How do you say goodbye to someone who never came?

How do you wait for someone who will never come?"

Hexagonal Areas of Life (part I)

What does being contented means?

This is what I've been asking myself lately. I dunno, maybe because of the lack of things to do in the midst of a hot summer. Maybe out of boredom. Or maybe because I would like to think that I’m not being a total slacker so I’m asking philosophical question such as this.

And in trying to answer this question, I found myself looking at the things I value the most. Every time I feel that the world seems acting a bit unfair, I just check on my self-made list of the six important areas of my life. Finding myself doing alright in every area makes me understand that life, though a bit naughty sometimes, has never really been unfair. It may never gave me everything, but it never gave me nothing. Then I feel contented.

To tell you more, here’s where I realize my contentment – from my hexagonal areas of life:

God

Putting God first in your life is the key to having a happy and contented life, that’s what I decided. But I confess it’s not easy. And me saying it’s not easy may sound a bit ridiculous, I know. But it’s because what I’m saying is more than believing that there’s God, more than hoping that someone will make your prayer happen. Rather, it is knowing God and what His purpose in your life is. It is you trusting everything, including your life itself unto Him. It is letting Him own you. All these take time and effort. But once you let Him into your heart, He will never leave you. You will feel His presence even more, every day. And when this happens, whatever it is that you will encounter in your life, you will always feel contented in His bracing arms.

How: I can’t give a step-by-step procedure on how this all works. It’s your faith after all. But you can start by saying a small prayer, right now. Make it simple but make sure it comes from the heart. Tell Him to own you. Let Him come to your heart. Trust everything unto Him. Say Thank you. That’s just about it. And every day, give yourself an hour or two of silence. Talk to Him. It would be better if you can find a church or a group that can help you build a strong relationship with God. Do Bible studies with friends. Just let your faith take you to His warm embrace. God is within you. God loves you. He is the ultimate source of contentment.

Faith vs. Religion

Since we’re on the topic, I would like to add on some points. As you can see, what I wrote above is ‘God’ and not ‘religion’. Simply because, they are two different things. Though I am not ignoring the importance of religion, I still believe that faith in God is more than being a member of a certain religion. For clarification’s sake, I am a Catholic. However, I am afraid that I am not a devout one in the strictest sense of the word. Being a devout Catholic means (as a common example) being able to go to church every Sunday of the week, which I apologetically sometimes failed to do so. I sometimes, though most of the time unaware of it, mess up with some of the teachings. And truthfully, I don’t easily go and agree with the opinions of the Catholic Church on certain things. RH bill, for example.  

For 2 years, I’ve been attending Christian bible studies. I’ve also attended some Christian prayer meetings and gatherings, one of which is with the Korean Christian community. If you’ll look at it, Catholic is within the realm of Christian faith. Hence, Catholic Christian. But most people would consider the two as different kinds of religion. For even a conservative Catholic like me, however, they are one and the same. The different religions may vary in their beliefs, but they only have the same faith.

They say that going to church and attending mass does not necessarily make you a real Catholic. Just the same, being in a certain religion does not suggest that you have an automatically good relationship with God. It does not remove you from the task of making efforts to constantly communicate and build a strong relationship with Him.

While I’m doing my responsibility as a member of the Catholic Church, I believe, as I have said, that faith in God is more than being a member of a certain religion. For as long as I know my faith, I would not have to be afraid.

Family

Before anything else, I would like to say that this does not include any notion or statement regarding the ideal kind and quality of household one is in. I believe that whatever kind and quality of family one has, big or small, with parents living together or are separated, rich or poor, etc. one can still achieve contentment in this area of one’s life.

Some people may be wishing if only they could have a different family from what they have now. For what reasons? Wealth most of the time. But as I have said, I’m not here to talk about the standard of life, but the essence of the family itself. What could be better than seeing every members of your family living a happy and healthy life? Nothing. For me, it is the safety and happiness of my family that I pray for the most every day. I know that many of us consider our own families to be the most important people in our lives, after God, before ourselves. Simply because, they are our family.

How: Tell them you love them every moment that you can. But for some of you who are not that comfortable with verbal showcase of affection or are just plain timid like me, why not use some real time actions? They speak louder than words after all. Show your family how much you love them in your own, even, little ways. Study hard and get good grades. Show respect to your parents. Avoid your habitual petty quarrels with your siblings. There are just so many things you could do. Enjoy every moment with your family. Treasure them. Love them.

You

Ever heard of the saying, “No one will love you unless you love yourself”? Or is it, “You can’t learn to love others unless you love yourself first”? Ah! Whichever. The point is you have to love yourself. Contentment is a state of mind, a kind of feeling, a state of being. Contentment springs from within. A genuine contentment starts with being contented with yourself.

Loving one’s self is not easy. Many people find this hard. The key is to know, understand and accept the kind of person you are. Ah yes, insecurities! They are the top 1 hindrance to loving yourself. But remember, every people have one, or two, or three…buckets of insecurities. I too have a fair share of them, more than fair actually. But I’m not the kind of an insecure person who will shout to the world that I DON’T HAVE ANKLES!!! Yes that’s true. The point is: don’t let your insecurities drown you over. Focus on what’s good about you. You have to understand that you are special… just the way you are.

How: You might want to discuss your insecurities with yourself. What about them? You might want to consider to find the good points of your “insecurities” and realize that you don’t really need to be insecured after all. Make yourself better. Just remember to make and do it for yourself and not for other people. Be beautiful. Feel beautiful. Act and think beautiful. Do what you need to do. Do what you want to do. Always choose to be happy. Yes! That’s the other important thing you must remember: be happy. Happiness is a choice. Do the things that would make you happy.

(to be continued...)

Listen

billet-doux. love letter.

5/23/2011 3:56pm

"If your heart's not in it, for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If love's already gone, it's not fair to lead me on

Cause I will give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me, I'd do

But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away

If Your Heart's Not In It."

------

I can't tell exactly how I'm feeling right now. So if you'll just listen to the song, you'll hear what my heart is saying.

vocabuLOVEry

Sometimes, there’s more meaning to a word than we could understand.

There’s more to a gesture than we could possibly feel.

And there’s more to what we feel than we could express.

Sweet Dreams [sweet dreems]

1.       Dream of me

2.       I’ll see you in my dreams

3.      Let’s meet in our dreams

Wala lang [wala lang] (Filipino term)

1.       I want to talk to you 

Hug [hug] (v)

1.       I’m here now, no need to be afraid

2.      Everything will be okay

3.      I belong with you and you belong with me

You’re beautiful [yoor byutiful]

1.       You’re God’s greatest gift to me

......

This is all I can manage for now. :))

Waiting for Tomorrow

4/24/2011 9:34pm

I wonder when these feelings started

I wonder why I even have them

This wronged heart of mine

Why did it make its way to you?

Your words strew the distance

Letting your hands slip away from mine

I never really had you

Even my dreams say so

So tonight, just tonight

Let me cry my heart out

One last time

Tonight, just tonight

Let me read your letters I up ‘til now kept

One last time

And tomorrow, I’ll be okay

You’re really just been a dream

A reverie beyond my grasp

I never really had you

Tell me this isn’t true

But still, let me seize the time at hand

Let me stay in the world of make-believe

Because I know you will be back

In time you’ll realize

So for now, just for now

Let me cry my heart out

One last time

For now, just for now

Let me read your letters I up ‘til now kept

One last time

Hoping that tomorrow... I can finally have you

First Meeting

billet-doux. love letter.

4/17/2011 7:34pm

It was only last week that I felt a little bit impatient. I thought it was very insincere of you. You said you wanted to see me. I was there, but you made no efforts to be with me.

But now, we finally meet.

It was surreal. Although I run out of words to say, it was not at all awkward.

Being with you felt so right.

Your eyes that heartwarmingly met mine

Your unfeigned smile that colored every word you uttered

Your serene voice that calmed my anxious heart

I wish to see and hear them all again

And what made my heart fluttered even more was when you told me one of the magic words that I never thought would hear from you. I don’t know if you really mean it. But I decided to just take it. And for that, I wanna say thank you.

Let’s meet again.

……

The truth is, I did not wish to have the picture taken. I was afraid it’ll be the first and the last. But I guess that’s the more reason why it should be taken, right? Though I hope it's not.

Square one

billet-doux. love letter.

3/18/2011 8:36pm

 

I don’t know what’s gotten into me that I suddenly remember it.

It’s the sign that I asked for, to my surprise, exactly one month ago.

Back then, I wrote:

I told myself I should not ask for more.

I decided to be contended for what we have so far…friendship.

But then again, I can’t blame myself for keeping the hopes I have kept inside.

And that’s where I made my mistake.

I shouldn’t have.

Back then, I thought:

“I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale. I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around.”

That was the back-story.

And? It didn’t happen.

Something, however, did. Close but not quite. But it didn’t happen.

It’s over.

That’s what I thought.

But we’re actually back to where we were before.

And I’m happy because it’s better now.

Though sometimes, I still wonder where we’re really going.

……

How I wished you would tell me.

Because I’m still here pondering if I really am your princess and if this can still be a fairytale.

I wonder if you would really sweep me off my feet and whether you would lead me up the stairwell.

How I wished you would let me dream once more.

But I hope this time without letting me down...yet again.